I never saw myself as a runner. Or, at least, I tried not to.
My introduction to running didn’t come from lovers of the sport; it was mandatory. The school exam days were the worst. I don’t remember much of the difficulty of the running or the shame of regularly coming in last place among my grade, but I do remember the feeling of barely being able to breathe and the sound of me wheezing. I hope to never hear that again. Once running was no longer mandatory, I didn’t have room for it in my life.
Years later, I found myself working at the premier running company. Life takes strange turns. I was doing what I do best - staring at my computer - when my manager informed me I’d be working on Nike’s workout apps. When he asked me if I was a runner, I shrugged him off with a no and hoped my face didn’t flush. He encouraged me to at least try the apps before I started working on them. I am so glad that he did.
If you haven’t talked to me in a few years, you might not know where this story is going. If you have, I have a feeling you know exactly where it is going. I started running with the Nike Running Club (NRC) app. When you run with the NRC app, you have the option to run “guided runs” with Nike’s Global Running Head Coach Chris Bennett. I had to look up his first name to write this because to me he is “Coach Bennett”… or just “Coach.”
Since that day years ago, I have logged over 500 miles with the Nike Running Club (NRC) app, most of them with Coach in my ear. The app ties into your phone’s GPS and runs a timer, so Coach checks in on you as you progress into your run at your own pace. (Your music even turns down so you can here the script! Incredible.) I would say Coach Bennett has a one of a kind voice, but I think the comparisons between him and another optimistic, mustached, overzealous coach are spot on. Running has gotten me through heartache, frustration, and even plain boredom - and it still does.
Different runs follow different scripts, but a few coaching motifs emerge. You can check out this list to get an idea of how cheery and pithy and fun this can be:
You don’t have to run every day to be a runner every day
Every finish line is a starting line in disguise
My favorite coaching, though, is when Coach Bennett describes something challenging about running. Maybe how you sometimes you have to pull back way more than you want to because you haven’t built into the run. And even though you want to do more, you can’t right now. And he reminds you that sometimes we have to take a step back to get a step forward. And then he’ll say - and this one is actually a quote:
This is about running. And this is not about running.
I’ve been a “senior” software engineer for 5 years and I’m burned out. Today I would rather write about running than software, so I’m not going to elaborate quite yet. If you’re curious on this point, though, here are some reflections by senior software engineers that stuck with me over the years and speak to me now:
Apparently this disenchantment extends even to hardware engineers. In 1981’s The Soul of a New Machine, Tracy Kidder recounts an engineer who leaves their job and tapes this note to their terminal:
I’m going to a commune in Vermont and will deal with no unit of time shorter than a season.
Which brings me to the point: I’m leaving the industry for a season.
Well, 3 months. So 12 weeks. So a quarter of the year. So basically a season.
While I won’t be maximizing shareholder value for a while, I will still be working. I was accepted into the Recurse Center and my batch started today. I don’t have a set curriculum, but I plan to play with systems languages, technical writing, and rounding out my machine learning skillset. More than anything, I’m excited to work alongside curious, kind, like-minded peers. In an actual, physical space (I think it’s called an uff-izz?). We’ve already talked about bringing baked goods to share. I’m amped.
It’s time to ease up, back off the pace, and thank myself for getting me here. And who knows, I might surprise myself again.
This is not about running.
I’ll see you on the next starting line.